Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! Hello Morbo, how’s the family? Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. I haven’t felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. We’re also Santa Claus!
I meant ‘physically’. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually? Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy. I was all of history’s great robot actors – Acting Unit 0.8; Thespomat; David Duchovny!
I wish! It’s a nickel. All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school! THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN!
Why yes! Thanks for noticing. This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me! You guys go on without me! I’m going to go… look for more stuff to steal! Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious.
Of all the friends I’ve had… you’re the first. Fry! Stay back! He’s too powerful! You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I’m still single? It’s ‘cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!
Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
In our darkest hour, we can stand erect, with proud upthrust bosoms.
Okay, it’s 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can’t hold the charge and the reception isn’t very…
Bender, quit destroying the universe! This opera’s as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can’t just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry! Well, thanks to the Internet, I’m now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence?
It may comfort you to know that Fry’s death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels. File not found.
Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file!
Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar.
I daresay that Fry has discovered the smelliest object in the known universe!
I’m Santa Claus! This is the worst part. The calm before the battle. Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence. Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious.
We’re also Santa Claus! Well, then good news! It’s a suppository. Ummm…to eBay? And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it!
Say what? Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You’d think it would be something you’d have to freebase. Leela’s gonna kill me. Aww, it’s true. I’ve been hiding it for so long. Belligerent and numerous.
Kif might! Kif might! Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun? Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There’s only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo! What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! ‘It is!’ My precious torso!
Bender, hurry! This fuel’s expensive! Also, we’re dying! Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by “devil”, I mean Robot Devil. And by “metaphorically”, I mean get your coat.
No, she’ll probably make me do it. You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don’t pay you or let you go. All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school!
I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money. No! The kind with looting and maybe starting a few fires!
It’s okay, Bender. I like cooking too. Well, then good news! It’s a suppository. She also liked to shut up! In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells.
Belligerent and numerous. That’s not soon enough! You won’t have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you’ll be doing. Look, everyone wants to be like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of ‘will’?
We’ll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we’ll go home. Hey, what kinda party is this? There’s no booze and only one hooker. Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages!
My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book ‘Earth in the Balance”, and the much more popular ”Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth’, we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards. You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites?